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Monday, December 21, 2009

I'm Back


I'm taking a long time....
To relax my mind...

To rest my body...


Now...

I'm back...

To share the story...

To share the comedy..
.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Alih Kereta



Ketika mahu mengundurkan kereta...


Pakcik : Belakang lagi...belakang lagi...

Ai : Ops....kilas stereng...kilas stereng...

Us : Ke depan balik...ke depan balik...

Pakcik : Undur sikit...undur sikit...

Us : Okey...selamat...

Ai : Wokey...dah boley balik nie...

Aku : Pak cik...jgn risau...dulu kan orang belajar drive kat pakcik...

Pakcik : Ceah...pandai ko yea...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Bapa



Selamat hari bapa...

Khas untuk semua bapa...

Istimewa untuk bakal bapa...


Walau jarang diucapi...

Jasa kalian tetap dihargai...

Setiap masa diingati...


Terima kasih atas pengorbanan...

Kasih sayang dan perhatian...


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sampai Seru

Sahabat baikku bertemu jodoh...
Diikat pada hari yang sama...

Bersanding pada hari yang sama...


Oleh itu...

Aku memberi doa yang sama...

Moga yang indah2 sahaja untuk kalian...

Moga kekal ke akhir waktu...

Moga bahagia sentiasa...

Moga dilindungi yang esa...


"Selamat Pengantin Baru...

Selamat Berbahgia...

Selamat ke ahhir waktu...

Selamat sejahtera..."


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Love Letter...



Tijah ingin break ngan boyprennya,

orang omputeh melalui surat...


Hi...

my motive write this letter...

to give know you something...

i want to cut connection us...

i saw you play wood three...

in front of my eyes...

so, i pull my body from this love!!!

you are really crocodile land...

i don't want you...

to play with my liver...

i have been crying...

untill no more eye water...

i dont want...

banana to fruit two times...

SAFE WALK...
*jumpa surat nie dalam sebuah tabloid...
kikikiki lawak sungguh

Monday, May 11, 2009

Hadiah apa


Ibu...

Seorang teman bertanya...

DIA : Apa nak bagi pada hari ibu?

Aku : Bagilah kasih sayang sepenuhnya...

DIA : Itu memang semestinya...hadiah lain?

AKU : Tak ada yang lebih penting selain tue...
Hadiah mahal pun kalau selalu lupa kat dia,
tak ada maknanya...

DIA : Betul tue...the though is count...



Sayangkan ayah...

Dengar katanya...


Sayangkan ibu...

Berbual dengannya...


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ajaibnya rokok


Cerita Satu

Makan dengan kawan2 lelaki...

Lelaki 1 : Gambar budak ko amik...

Lelaki 2 : Mula2 dia bagi gambar leher berlubang...

Menakutkan betul...aku suruh dia tukar...

Lelaki 1 : Gambar nie okey sikit la banding leher tue...

Aku : Diam itu pintar...




Cerita Dua

Makan dengan seorang abang...

Aku : Wah tukar kotak rokok bang...

Abang : Terpaksa la dik... Nak hidup...

Aku : Napa pulak macam tue...

Abang : Gambar kat kotak rokok tue...

buat kami lagi cepat mati...

menyeramkan aje...





Cerita Tiga...

Makan dengan seorang ketua...

Aku : You tak rasa apa2 ke tengok kotak rokok nie...

Dia : This is nonsene actually...

Aku : Why you say so...

Dia : Rokok hanya rosakkan paru2 le... Ini rekaan nie...

Aku : No comment...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Datang Lagi


Exam....

Datang lagi...

Menyesakkan diri...

Menyibukkan hari...

Menambah tekanan di hati...



Tekanan...

Menghadap buku...

Membuat latihan...

Membuat kira-kira...

Membuat rumusan...



Doakan...

Aku berjaya...

Aku bahagia....

Aku gembira...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Kursus kahwin

Seorang sahabat lelaki

ingin menghadiri kursus kahwin


ID : Apa yang perlu dibaca yea untuk kursus nie...

AB : Ko baca bab nikah kawin...itu penting tue...

ID : Itu aku memang dah pakar...selain pada tue...


AS : Ko hafal segala jenis sembahyang...

ID : Sembahyang fardu ke apa?

AZ : Sembahyang sunat le...

ID : Sembahyang sunat hajat ke?

AS : Ko praktik le solat taubat ngan solat jenazah...


ID : Aku kena nyorok le kalu macam nie...

AB : Ko tue tinggi...nak nyorok camna gaya...

AS : Ko jangan duduk atas kerusi tau...


ID : Okey..series..series...dia akan tanya solat jenazah ke?

AS : Bukan takat solat jenazah...solat taubat pun kena...

AB : Senang masa dia tanya tue...kau terus ke depan...

ID : Aku tak pernah buat solat jenazah nie...

AZ : Ko berlakon le jadi jenazah...bukan susah pun...

AB : Ala ko pejam celik je mata ko...

AS : Betul tue...itu yang paling senang...
AZ : mesti markah ko tinggi nye...

ID : Kena ada jenazah ke...

AB : Kan solat jenazah tue...



Sunday, March 29, 2009

Ibu Dan Ayah

Bersarapan pagi bersama seorang sahabat...

Ditemani oleh seorang pakcik...


Pak cik : Ibu bapa perlu bagi kasih sayang

dan kesenangan pada anak-anak...

Kalau kasih sayang aje tanpa kesenangan

nanti anak-anak susah pulak...

Perlu beri semua keperluan anak-anak...

Anak pak cik tanya...

"Kenapa hidup ayah senang aje

tapi hidup anak-anak ayah susah...

Pak cik jawab sikit aje...terus dia menangis...

Saya : Apa yang pak cik jawab ke dia?

Pak cik : Pasal kamu tak dengar cakap ayah...

Anak pak cik terus menangis...

Pak cik tak menengking dia

tapi kata-kata tue menyedarkan dia...

Saya : Maksud pak cik...

kita akan senang dengan keberkatan hidup?

Pak cik : Syurga dunia ada pada ayah...

Syurga akhirat ada pada ibu...

Kedua-duanya perlu seiring...

Kedua-duanya perlu dihormati...

Kalau abaikan salah satu...

Satu syurga akan tercicir...

Ayuh kita merenung diri sendiri...

Sama-sama kita perbaiki diri...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Bukan masanya


Saya ke pejabat pos...

Ingin melakukan transaksi wang...

Sampai sebelum pukul empat...

Hingga pukul 4.30 masa berjalan...

Baru sepuluh no. di panggil...

Termasuk no. tiada tuan...


Mereka begitu sopan-santun...

Mereka begitu lemah-lembut...
Mereka begitu teliti dalam menyemak...


Tapi tolong kami...

Masa mengejar kami...

Penantian satu penyiksaan...


Bukan ini masanya...

Untuk menonjolkan...

Sifat-sifat terpuji berikut...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Roti Canai


Dalam satu perjumpaan...


Uncle : Minta maaf yea...terlambat pulak ari nie...

Saya : Tak de hal... Bawak roti canai x? Denda untuk orang lewat...

Uncle : Roti canai...ada...memang ada...

Saya : Mananya...dah lapar nie...

Uncle : Dalam perut nie ha...


Muka saya berubah merah...

Bukan sebab marah...

Tapi geram...

Sebab semua tergelak...


Friday, March 13, 2009

Budak-budak sekarang

Tengahari Jumaat

Lalu di kawasan sekolah...

Jalan penuh sesak...

Dengan pelbagai kereta...

Dan pelajar yang mahu pulang...


Itu keadaan biasa...

Di kawasan sekolah...

Ibu bapa dan para pelajar...

Sama-sama mahu cepat...

Untuk sampai ke rumah...


Menjadi luar biasa...

Pelajar sekarang...

Seakan tiada timbang rasa...

Seperti hilang toleransi...

Seakan tidak bertanggungjawab...

Seperti tiada tolak ansur...


Mengapa saya kata begitu...

Kerana mereka berjalan...

Seperti jalan itu mereka punya...

Bersaing tiga hingga empat orang...

Kereta terpaksa memberi laluan...

Pada pejalan kaki untuk berjalan...

Mereka mengambil ruang kereta...

Hingga menyebabkan kesesakan...


Apa salahnya jika berjalan...

Seorang demi seorang....

Kerana kereta juga bergerak...

Satu demi satu...


Kami tahu undang-undang...

Di sekolah kamu hebat...

Kecelakaan pada kamu...

Bermakna padah untuk kami...

Tapi tolong beringat sebelum kena...

Andai kecelakaan berlaku...

Wang sudah hilang makna...


Dalam hidup ini...

Kita perlu memikirkan tentang diri kita....

Kita juga perlu memikirkan tentang diri sekeliling kita....

Monday, March 9, 2009

Kerana gaya

Orang kata...

Biar papa...asal bergaya...


Hari ini hari minggu...

Ada majlis kenduri kahwin...

Rumahnya nun di puncak bukit...


Untuk sampai di puncak bukit...

Terpaksa berhenti di 3 perhentian...

Untuk mengambil nafas...


Sampai di rumah kenduri...

Saya dan seorang sahabat...

Menyerbu nasi dan kuih...

Tenaga hilang sebab mendaki...


Balik ke rumah...

Kakiku mula meragam...

Almaklum berkasut tumit tinggi...

Untuk mendaki puncak bukit...


Kata-kata di atas...

harus dibetulkan...


Kerana gaya...

Daku merana...

Sakitnya...


Beauty is pain...


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Pelik tapi benar...

gambar orang....
macam lukisan...
tapi ini realiti...
dua pokok nie...
tak mahu berjauhan...
sentiasa berdekatan...
terikat selamanya....
dahan pokok nie...
saling berpaut...
seakan tak mau berpisah....
Batang pokok nie...
berlubang-lubang...
boleh tinjau ke dalam...
Basikal boleh terselit...
kalau difikir logik akal...
memang mustahilkan...
akar pokok nie....
macam terowong...
unik dan tersendiri...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Adik

Adik : Cikgu dah bagi no periksa...
Emak : Iye...adik dapat no berapa?
Adik : Adik dapat no 8...
Emak : Okey la tue....



Adik : Ada kawan adik tue lagi teruk tau...
Emak : Napa pulak kawan adik teruk ??
Adik : Dia dapat no 1 aje...sikit aje no dia...
adik dapat benyak sikit
Emak : Pening kepala...zaman dah berubah...

Monday, February 23, 2009

Nak Cantik


agar wajah selalu segar...
berseri-seri dan cantik...
cucilah minima 5 kali sehari dengan air wudhu...
jangan langsung dikeringkan...
biarkan menitis dan kering sendiri...
lalu ambillah sajadah, solat, berdzikir, dan berdo'a...

untuk menghilangkan stress...
perbanyaklah 'olahraga'...
cukup dengan memperbanyakkan solat...
ketika solat, kita mengerakkan seluruh tubuh...
lalu berkonsultasilah pada Allah SWT...
dengan dzikir dan do'a.

untuk pelembab, agar awet muda...
gunakanlah senyuman...
tidak hanya di bibir tapi juga di hati...
jangan lupa bisikkan 'kata kunci',
"Allahuma Kamma Hassanta Khalqii Fahassin Khuluqii"
(Ya Allah sebagaimana engkau telah memperindah kejadianku,
maka perindah pula akhlaqku). (HR Ahmad).
DOA TENGOK CERMIN

untuk punya bibir cantik...
bisikkan kalimat-kalimat Allah...
tidak berbohong atau menyakiti hati orang lain...
tidak menyombongkan diri atau takbur...

agar tubuh langsing dan mulus...
diet yang teratur dengan berpuasa...
seminggu 2 kali..Isnin dan Khamis...
Jika kuat, lebih bagus lagi puasa Nabi Daud AS
i.e. selang satu hari...
makanlah makanan halal...
perbanyak sayuran, buah-buahan, dan air putih...

untuk mengembangkan diri...
sebarkan salam dan sapaan...
dengan demikian kita akan dikenali dan disayangi.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Perigi Mencari Timba


Perbualan dengan seorang kawan lelaki....

Saya : Apa pendapat kau kalau perempuan pinang lelaki..

Dia : Mana boleh macam tue..

Saya : Kenapa pulak tak boleh..

Dia : Itu dah terbalik.. Lelaki yang patut pinang perempuan..

Saya : Bukanke nabi kita dipinang Siti Khadijah..

Dia : Iye tak ye jugak yea..

Selang beberapa minit...

Dia : Kau jangan pinang aku dulu.. Aku belum pandai masak lagi...

Saya : GGGRRRRRRRMMMM

Apa Pendapat Kalian?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mampukah...

Makanan idaman ku...
Harus ditinggalkan...
MC'DONALD berganti RAMLY burger...


Barangan kecantikanku...
Harus ditinggalkan...
BEAUTY PRODUCT menjadi NATURAL BEAUTY...


Air kegemaranku...
Harus diubah...
MILO bertukar VICO...

Minuman hilang ngantukku...
Harus ditukar...
NESCAFFE berganti INDOCAFFE...

Makanan segeraku...
Harus dibuang...
MAGGI bertukar ke MAMEE...
BANYAK LAGI PERLU DIUBAH...
MAMPUKAH KITA TERUS BERTAHAN...
BARANGAN INI MASIH DI PASARAN...
SEMUANYA BERGANTUNG PADA HATI...
KITA PERLU BERSATU UNTUK MEMBANTU...
WALAU BUKAN DENGAN WANG RINGGIT...
SOKONGAN MORAL BESAR ERTINYA...


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Salah Faham...



Kita impikan rama-rama...

Yang cantik berseri...

Tapi diberi ulat beluncas...


Kita idamkan pohon bunga...

Yang segar mewangi...

Tapi diberi pokok kaktus berduri...


Kita bersedih...

Meratap nasib diri...

Mengeluh sendiri...

Mengapa jadi begini...


Tanpa kita sedari...

Ulat beluncas akan menjadi...

Rama-rama yang berwarna warni...


Tanpa kita ketahui...

Pokok kaktus berduri...

Akan berbunga cantik sekali...


Itulah kehidupan...

Kita akan dikurniakan...

Dengan apa yang kita perlukan...

Bukan dengan apa yang kita inginkan...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Change This Situation

BEFORE MARRIAGE...
He : Yes.. At last.. It was so hard to wait..
She : Do you want to leave..
He : No.. Don't even think about this..
She : Do you love me?
He : Of course.. Over and over..
She : Have you ever cheated me?
He : No.. Why are you even asking?
She : Will you kiss me?
He : Every chance I get..
She : Will you hit me?
He : Are you crazy? I'm not that kind of person..
She : Can I trust you..
He : Yes..
She : Darling..
AFTER MARRIAGE...
Simply read from bottom to the top...
We have to change this situation from NOW..

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Banana

Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by mind amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS:
Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.


Anemia :
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power:
200 students at aTwickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown! that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweeten! ed with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief. Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control:

Many other cultures see bananas as a 'cooling' fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking:

Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes:

According to research in 'The New England Journal of Medicine 'eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!'

Warts:
Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape! So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.
So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, 'A banana a day keeps the doctor away!'

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

His Turn

He become 2 years 4 months...
He become more elder...
He become more clever...
He become more sweet...
He become more nice...

He was selected...
Among us...
His granpa and grandma...
His father and mother...
His elder and younger brother...
His auntie and uncle...

Today...
Almost two week...
But the memory is still there...

Azha Danial...
We love you more than words...

Al-fatihah for him...

Friday, January 2, 2009

Salam Maal Hirah & Happy New Year

Moga Allah jadikan..
Subuhmu Cahaya..
Zohormu Gembira..
Asarmu Seronok..
Maghribmu Keampunan..
Isyakmu Keberkatan..
****************
Moga Doamu Tidak Ditolak..
Dan Diluaskan Rezekimu..
Serta Ianya Tidak Ditarik Balik..
Ditutup Untukmu Pintu Neraka..
Dan Dibuka Untukmu Pintu Syurga..
****************
SALAM MENYAMBUT MAAL HIJRAH 1430H

**************************
************************************
***************************
I wish you a...
Fantastic January...
Lovable February...
Marvelous March...
Luckiest April...
Enjoyable May...
Successful June...
Wonderful July...
Independent August...
Sweet September...
Tastiest October...
Beautiful November...
Happiest December...
**************
HAVE A VICTORIOUS YEAR
Wishing you Happy New Year 2009